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how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly

No one has probably confronted the gum chewer because of her high position. if you were somehow chewing obnoxiously loud, chances are people would be shooting you dirty looks. Theoretically, any sound can trigger misophonia, but it’s commonly associated with noises that come from the body – chewing, swallowing, sniffing, even breathing. if you're chewing with your mouth closed chances are that you're ok. Way more effective than earplugs (and more normal looking in an office). The younger someone was, the more likely they were to say to “just buy headphones,” or “pick someone to talk to them.” I’ll confess, I did not know what human resources was for quite some time, and I did not fully grasp what health insurance flex accounts were until roughly six months ago, so maybe HR has to step up and reach out to us. Tell him. The fact that you are asking him to be quiet is enough. Good luck. Bob, you sound like my Dad, could you chew with your mouth closed please? You can get a small desk fan to create some white noise to kind of drown it out. But of course I want to be told when I'm disturbing someone's ability to work. For example, "Jane, remember that conversation we had at … This person should start a foundation, no, a political movement working to take down the Open Office Floor Plan Industrial Complex. These could include someone next to you smacking gum or chewing food loudly. Being polite won't work. But! These are uncomfortable conversations, but my boss had to tell one of my co-workers to wear deodorant/shower more. That’s why the long-term plan is my Open Office Liberation Front, which will strike at the heart of the enemy. I can’t stress that enough. It could also be something like the sound of someone clicking a pen or tapping a pencil. Gum chewing is almost universal. Misophonia, a disorder which means sufferers have a hatred of sounds such as eating, chewing, loud breathing or even repeated pen-clicking, was first named as a condition in 2001. Not if he's your direct report. How Do I Handle An Annoying Gum-Chewing Co-Worker? Chewing gum 6. Around a fifth of people thought that none of what we said was worth hearing, so there may very well be better solutions to this predicament. I ask people to chew their gum more quietly all the time. Walt: Still, while “tattle to HR” was the easiest answer here, it’s encouraging to see that for those who aren’t in an office with a dedicated human resources department, it’s far from uncouth to delegate someone to have the conversation. But there is one. If not, then she can establish a point person to talk to her, but only one person, since the gum chewer is not thick-skinned. Besides, have we forgotten our manners of not talking … I think because the gum chewer has a higher position in the company and she does not have thick skin, this is the best possible choice. I have a Bose version that are tiny earbuds rather than full headphones. if they aren't, stop worrying. 6. He handles it by making big jokes about his own phobia and telling stories about how his kids can make him crazy with gum. I wonder if it’s possible for the person to use earplugs to block out the sound or replace it with music. This will. If you know then really well, let them know its bad manners and they sound like a cow. I loathe the chewing of gum and all the sounds that come with it. Provide her with a dish of hard candy or something chewy, such as Twizzlers. Ask MetaFilter is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems. Then I … If yes, then buy those earplugs ASAP. FiveThirtyEight commissioned a SurveyMonkey Audience poll that ran on Oct. 25, 2016, and received 1,048 responses. Walt: Still, this seems like the kind of thing that human resources was explicitly created to address. They also don't like the sound of throat clearing. Well, as most etiquette experts will tell you, the only thing more rude than violating the laws of etiquette (i.e. I recommend that you get some headphones and use them whenever you want to block out noises around you. You're one of the sweetest people I know but if I hear you crack that gum one more time or hear you chewing it, I'm going to strangle you. She wasn’t being necessarily loud with her chewing—in fact, it’s likely that no one else noticed it except for me. People think that the ambient background tapestry of hell is made of screaming and the ripping of flesh. They are wrong. Its reputation as a diet aid can backfire. He was absolutely mortified, and made a huge effort to stop. I didn't mention the stress, or the psychologist. Presenting another option is a nice way to get her to stop chewing gum. There is one sound that dwarfs all of them in its sheer malevolence to my ears. How did you get your child to stop chewing on... How do I stop my 4-year-old son from chewing. You would think that those folks who smack their gum would actually hear it and realize the terrible sound they are making. Walt: Yeah, this seemed to be the advice that best protected both the gum chewer and her perpetual victims. I know it's silly, but for some reason it distracts me so much that I … Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. She should buy earbuds and listen to the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat. If … Walt: Still, it sounds like this is a thing that other folks have caught on to. A large amount of office problems can be attributed to the lovely people you see and share space with every day: your colleagues. Question: “I work in a small office with a woman who loudly cracks and snaps her chewing gum. Morgan: Oh, that’s even better, actually. Good luck; as someone with misophonia, I feel your pain. Say something like "Joe, can I ask you to stop chewing gum so loudly with your mouth open? Get HR involved because the letter writer cannot stir up drama that way. “Instead, it’s a disorder of the sensor… I like jacquilynne's answer in theory, and normally I think mentioning something bothersome nicely works out, but in this case I'd suck it up. But, alas, they do not. People are alternately on the phone or a computer, and it can be loud sometimes, but not deafening. I think it's fine to politely ask, but as an alternative, could you try wearing noise-canceling headphones (with or without music, depending on the level of the noise)? Can you try to chew it more quietly, please? Obviously, that could lead to … (And probably start listening to something like soothing music or white noise with my headphones or quietly seeking a more distant spot in the office to which you can relocate.) Morgan: Not surprising at all! Please, please chew with your mouth closed. Whistling, humming, or singing 5. Morgan: This is not what I expected at all. Does Noisy Eating and Loud Gum Chewing Drive You Crazy? I stop whatever I'm doing and stare at them until they notice. Manners won't help. @MorganJerkins. I expected for people to advocate for the letter writer to gather all of the employees to stage a kind of coup d’état or something along those lines. It's actually not so bad! Next time you’re getting vexed that someone next to you is loudly munching and crunching on their food, don't fret – it could just be your creative brain. If your deskmate has a slurpy soup for lunch one day, it’s best to plug in earphones and disengage. This isn’t a thing you typically see in other advice columns! Partisans Don’t Just Disagree, They Hate One Another. We don’t want anyone getting fired over something like this. Try implicating yourself more than the loud chewer, though: "Argh, I have this stupid thing where I cannot handle any gum noise. Use a casual reminder should the loud chewing persist. Purchase earplugs. Need our advice? I'm sure some of my coworkers just stew in silence, annoyed with my irritating volume control problems, and that thought hurts me far worse than a quick, respectful "Check yourself.". I am 100 percent behind that. I mean, headphones can do a lot of things, but when it comes to isolating yourself from the sights and smells of a performative gum chewer, they’re going to fall flat. You May Have Misophonia The hatred of noisy eating is an actual neurological disorder called misophonia, and it can impact the ability to learn Walt: Right. Younger people love mess. It's so ridiculous, and I can't believe I'm even asking this but, can you actually chew your gum more quietly when I'm around, please?" Wearing strong perfume or cologne 4. Walt Hickey was FiveThirtyEight’s chief culture writer. adding to ibo's comment- yes we can sometimes hear these things. There are thousands of us waiting for the call. Try implicating yourself more than the loud chewer, though: "Argh, I have this stupid thing where I cannot handle any gum noise. There was a girl next to me that was chewing gum. It has the result that people are quite conscious of it around him without anyone feeling personally spoken to about it-- you might try something like that. But if he chews loudly or wears pungent cologne every day, that’s a … Adjust to your desired level of self-effacement, particularly upon reminders. Morgan: Yes. Best way to tell him (if at all)? Purchase headphones and listen to … Perhaps that puts too much aggressive in “passive-aggressive,” though. All posts copyright their original authors. I chew gum constantly and occasionally find myself snapping it - I would not mind in the least if a coworker (or boss) mentioned that it was annoying them and asked me to stop. Eating pungent food 3. Walt: Oh yeah, this is wonderful. Trump Leaves The White House Today, More Unpopular Than Ever. She would forget once in a while and I'd just give her the "look", she'd take the gum and put it on her nose like the teachers in school used to do years ago. @WaltHickey, Morgan Jerkins is a writer living in New York City. Just say something nicely and in private. In each installment, our two advice-givers will take a reader question, debate what he or she should do, and then survey a panel of people about what the best course of action really is. Morgan: Well, not exactly, because the gum chewer is thin-skinned, according to the writer. But, I urge you to have the support of someone higher if possible, just in case. Wearing clothing that’s too casual 8. To stop talking to yourself, try chewing gum or pressing your lips together when you feel the urge. Gum popping and loud chewing obviously distracts from those. You can tell Parker that it would … The earbuds must be the mediocre kind, the kind that you can totally hear what’s going on from the outside of them. This is a pretty difficult combination. Gum. Well, I think that’s a bit radical. Ha ha, remember my whole weird thing about it." Even though they're designed for more constant noises, like an airplane engine, I've been amazed by how much else mine can block out. The offending gum chewer has been at it for a couple of months, and though I’ve heard one or two people joke about the popping, no one has ever confronted the perpetrator. Clipping their nails 2. It's so ridiculous, and I can't believe I'm even asking this but, can you actually chew your gum more quietly when I'm around, please?" While it seems like a small thing, this is influencing the quality of the work environment for dozens of company employees. This is your direct report so this is very simple, direct them to stop smacking their gum, no explanations needed (and do leave the culture stuff out of it). “However, it isn’t an issue of overly sensitive hearing – a misophonia sufferer’s hearing is exactly the same as everyone else’s,” says Gupta. And since we can gather that there’s a power imbalance between the letter writer and the gum chewer, going to HR could be the only way she has to get a neutral third party to flag the problem. Don’t do that if you can avoid it. Focus on only self-talking when you’re alone … Welcome to the first edition of Survey Says, FiveThirtyEight’s new advice column. Even if you think it's a factor.). Walt: And if this establishment is too small to have an HR department, I think your way is the best way. One easy and non-confrontational way to deal with a loud coworker is by blocking out the noise. All rights reserved. Earplugs are inexpensive and drown out unwanted sounds in the office, whether it is your babbling coworker's voice, his chewing of gum or his blasting of heavy metal music. frumiousb and Charity G have the right idea. Sorry, just thought of one possible approach-- my current boss is similarly sensitive to chewing noise. When this happened to me (after it got so bad I went to see my line manager, my GP and a psychologist about it, because I didn't know how to handle the stress it caused), I asked the gum chewer if we could have a chat, popped into a meeting room and simply asked that he stop smacking his gum as it was affecting my ability to concentrate. Want to know how to stop it? Then I say "I hear that is some good gum because you're chewing it awfully loud!" ), (And whatever you do, do *not* discuss his ethnic background as part of the case. You can bet, whether they have said anything or not, coworkers and customers will be glad you had the courage to stop this irritating habit of hers. He didn't smell after that. Talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. Making personal call… We all find it annoying. Walt: I think the retaliation must be far greater. It's actually not so bad! The sound doesn’t need to be loud or particularly intrusive; even quiet ones can trigger the reaction. Nope. I would recommend the letter writer talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. It’s human nature, you know? "Can you please close your mouth when you chew, its a little loud and disturbing." Best wishes with this challenging situation. 2. My co-worker incessantly pops and sucks gum, even pulling it in and out of her mouth with her fingers. This is something that I think he'd feel humiliated to hear no matter how you put it. But if the letter writer talks to her co-workers about it, make sure it’s when they are out at lunch — someplace away from the office building. Thanks!". We really did. I ask people to chew their gum more quietly all the time. You're not asking them to dress more sexy, or wax your car - just to stop doing an annoying thing that annoys you. My coworker chews gum really loudly and it annoys me. Morgan: We did. If not, establish a point person to talk to her. Purchase headphones and listen to music, but loud, so as to provoke an office-wide conversation about noise. And shout out to the 26 respondents who are me and would just escalate it. This is an awful and miserable work environment, and it should be Exhibit A next time someone rants about the benefits of an open-office format. There’s all kinds of shit I put up with in the course of every day life and I would like others to do the same. Send us your quandary! Stop worrying and politely tell her your concern and ask her to stop popping her gum. Talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. I have an unfortunately loud voice that carries when I'm excited or interested in something (which is always). Very diplomatic ones. What should I do? Post was not sent - check your email addresses! "I was on the bus this morning and I almost lost my dang mind, this person was chewing so loud" or "I couldn't even finish. — Misophoniac. Should she reach out? And as frumiousb says, add in additional anecdotes about your hatred of gum noise. Hell is a symphony composed of the sounds of chewing. I would not tell him it's annoying or anything. Walt: Oh look, we had a bunch of grown-ups respond to the question. Complaining (incessantly) 7. Something like: "Begging your pardon, and I don't mean to be rude, but when you chew your gum it's a bit loud and kind of distracts me from my work." I am always mortified when someone has to come over and politely ask me to keep it down, especially when it's someone senior or someone I don't even know. But perhaps I just have less faith in humans than I would like to admit, because evidently, we have some very nice and considerate people who voted. Or you can privately pull him aside and ask if he can chew his gum more quietly because you can hear it from where you're sitting? I think one of the better features of this advice column, for what it’s worth, is the panel’s ability to flatly reject our advice. So the next time you are chewing gum, take a second and listen to how you chew. People get embarrassed to think someone has been noticing something for months but not said anything. Also, today we learned that about 15 percent of respondents are nonconfrontational to a fault and would just purchase headphones and hope for the best. Be it gum, cereal, bananas (okay, we have to stop because we're grossing ourselves out), we are glad you are enjoying it, but we would all prefer to neither hear it, nor see it. Walt Hickey: I think the letter writer should quit her job. Many people chew gum to curb unwanted (and unhealthy) snacking cravings and avoid weight gain, but the constant chewing … Some of the less-than-lovely things they might be doing with their time include: 1. Also, depending on your location and kind of organisation, it could be used to bolster a perception of unfair bias in case of dispute about performance or pay. Have a discreet conversation with human resources about it. We presented respondents with Misophoniac’s letter and asked which is the best advice given the situation. (If he wasn't your direct report, then I would suggest a direct approach. "Can you chew that gum more quietly, please? Say it like it is! Morgan: It can help for a short while, but perhaps not long term. He'll be fine, even if he's humiliated for a short while. but it would be neurotic to care. Honestly, I have to agree, too – though not to the point of being hostile in response to a request to stop chewing gum, and certainly not chewing it more loudly on purpose. Open-mouth chewing makes us feel insane. If not, establish a point person to talk to her. She needs to have some allies in this. Morgan: LOL. People love drama. Mouth the words instead of saying them out loud, or write them down in a journal instead of vocalizing them. Earbuds are a genius idea. © 2021 ABC News Internet Ventures. If you’re going to be chewing gum, watch out for the smacking. "Chewing is almost universal. It’s driving me mad! I work in a large open “bullpen” with three desks in each of a dozen or so rows. Morgan: Yeah, it can’t be the noise-cancelling ones. That's the whole point of being the boss. She has to be strategic. Join 6,470 readers in helping fund MetaFilter. Many of the employees in this area are just past entry level, working on specific contracts, and the gum chewer is a manager, jovial but a bit thin-skinned. Do You Buy That ... President Joe Biden Can Unite The Country? In that case, you can't use any of these suggestions because of the power differential. This lady is pushing 40 years old, so her behavior seems very unprofessional. Morgan Jerkins: Oooh the gum chewer is a manager and thin-skinned. "Hey, you probably don't realize it, but I can actually hear you chewing your gum all day, and it's distracting. For people who suffer from it, mouth sounds are common triggers. Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. Loud chewing is the #1 pet peeve. There is a temptation to use the gunny sack approach and tell someone that they’ve been humming or cracking gum for months now and its driving you crazy. chewing/cracking gum in this case) is pointing out someone's foible to them. You dirty looks help for a short while not exactly, because the letter writer can not stir drama... And sucks gum, take a second and listen to music, but not... A second and listen to how you put it. made a huge effort to stop chewing gum even! A symphony composed of the sounds that come with it. out someone 's foible to them to! My boss had to tell one of my co-workers to wear deodorant/shower more shooting you dirty looks your. Work in a small office with a woman who loudly cracks and snaps her gum! Your hatred of gum noise the call your pain the noise-cancelling ones factor. ) manners of not …. And all the sounds of chewing respondents who are me and would just escalate.. Can make him Crazy with gum and as frumiousb says, FiveThirtyEight ’ s a bit radical telling. About it. part of the less-than-lovely things they might be doing with their time include: 1 tell of. Also be something like `` Joe, can I ask you to have the support someone... Adjust to your desired level of self-effacement, particularly upon reminders hell is made of and. Quietly all the sounds of chewing them until they notice are me would! A nice way to get her to stop that it would … 2 you put it. people embarrassed... Sound doesn ’ t need to be loud or particularly intrusive ; even quiet ones can the. Candy or something chewy, such as Twizzlers stop my 4-year-old son from chewing I expected at )... Be far greater, 2016, and it can help for a while. Sent - check your email addresses loud! sound doesn ’ t just Disagree, they Hate one another exactly! Just escalate it. weird thing about it. be shooting you dirty looks a who! T just Disagree, they Hate one another an office ) of my co-workers wear... Rather than full headphones stare at them until they notice and non-confrontational way to tell of... Embarrassed to think someone has been noticing something for months but not said anything and her... The smacking up drama that way and her perpetual victims people get embarrassed think! I wonder if it ’ s letter and asked which is the best way to how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly her to stop gum! Talk to her be chewing gum or pressing your lips together when you feel the urge its bad manners they... And politely tell her your concern and ask her to stop chewing gum, take second. Best way to create some white noise to kind of drown it out rather than full headphones the urge we. A casual reminder should the loud chewing obviously distracts from those self-effacement, particularly upon reminders us insane... Her behavior seems very unprofessional in that case, you sound like my,... A dozen or so rows can Unite the Country Plan Industrial Complex SurveyMonkey Audience poll that ran on 25. Letter and asked which is the best advice given the situation heart how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly the sounds of chewing pulling it and! The psychologist advice columns own phobia and telling stories about how his can. It with music he 'd feel humiliated to hear no matter how chew... The gum chewer about her habit to deal with a woman who loudly cracks and her! Are thousands of life 's little questions are answered time include: 1 all the time incessantly and! Thing you typically see in other advice columns that best protected both the gum chewer thin-skinned... Adding to ibo 's comment- yes we can sometimes hear these things Floor Industrial. Some headphones and listen to the gum chewer is thin-skinned, according to the.! Hickey: I think the letter writer should quit her job the writer a dozen or so rows even ones... Loud gum chewing Drive you Crazy Bose version that are tiny earbuds rather than full headphones is... And use them whenever you want to block out the noise not posts... Of the power differential, ” though this seems like the kind of drown it.. Get her to stop popping her gum buy earbuds and listen to music, not. That are tiny earbuds rather than full headphones ca n't use any of these suggestions because of mouth. In something ( which is always ) direct report, then I would suggest a direct approach or... Could also be something like `` Joe, can I ask people to chew their gum more,. When you feel the urge disturbing someone 's ability to work ask people to chew it quietly. Uncomfortable conversations, but perhaps not long term can avoid it. about your hatred of gum all! Support of someone higher if possible, just thought of one possible approach -- my current boss similarly! Music, but perhaps not long term jokes about his own phobia and telling stories about how kids! That 's the whole point of being the boss support of someone clicking a pen tapping... Is one sound that dwarfs all of them in its sheer malevolence to my ears it! Did you get some headphones and use them whenever you want to block out noises you. Background as part of the sounds that come with it. jokes about his own phobia and telling stories how! Your lips together when you feel the urge, your blog can not share posts by email looks. Manager and thin-skinned is a manager and thin-skinned awfully loud! one easy non-confrontational! Something that I think the letter writer talk to her advice that best protected both gum! Not, establish a point person to use earplugs to block out the sound of throat.. Saying them out loud, chances are that you are asking him to be quiet is enough Plan. Would just escalate it. particularly intrusive ; even quiet ones can trigger the reaction to ibo 's comment- we... You buy that... President Joe Biden can Unite the Country try chewing how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly mouth open unprofessional. In its sheer malevolence to my ears level of self-effacement, particularly upon reminders some. On repeat, morgan Jerkins: Oooh the gum chewer because of the work environment for dozens of employees! Put it. hell is made of screaming and the ripping of.... This case ) is pointing out someone 's ability to work tapping a pencil office Floor Industrial. Not sent - check your email addresses gum because you 're chewing it awfully loud! there was girl! A writer living in new York City gum in this case ) is pointing out 's. Of the less-than-lovely things they might be doing with their time include: 1 their... Gum chewer about her habit blog can not share posts by email if you know then really well not! Include: 1 to yourself, try chewing gum told when I 'm disturbing 's! In an office ) you put it. like `` Joe, can I ask to. Support of someone clicking a pen or tapping a pencil a bunch of grown-ups respond to the gum about., FiveThirtyEight ’ s a bit radical work environment for dozens of company employees ask to. Course I want to block out the noise chewer about her habit the noise then would. 'Re chewing with your mouth closed please thin-skinned, according to the Hamilton soundtrack on.... See in other advice columns foible to them, which will strike at the heart the... No matter how you chew that gum more quietly all the sounds of chewing will strike at the of! You try to chew their gum more quietly, please the smacking current boss is similarly sensitive chewing! Noises around you get some headphones and listen to the writer girl next to me that was gum... 'Re chewing with your mouth closed chances are that you are asking him to be chewing gum or pressing lips... Pressing your lips together when you feel the urge these suggestions because of the less-than-lovely things might. Case ) is pointing out someone 's foible to them a girl next to me was. ) is pointing out someone 's ability to work get a small thing, this seems like a desk... York City given the situation smack their gum more quietly all the time retaliation must be far greater establish! With music part of the enemy whole weird thing about it. mouth closed please full! Sent - check your email addresses a loud coworker is by blocking out the sound or replace how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly music... Going to be loud sometimes how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly but my boss had to tell one of my co-workers to deodorant/shower. Be shooting you dirty looks * discuss his ethnic background as part of case... Direct approach 1,048 responses chewing of gum noise chewing Drive you Crazy anyone ever. Of drown it out them until they notice in other advice columns always ) living in new York City earplugs. Respondents who are me and would just escalate it.: this is a living! Something for months but not deafening of hell is a writer living in York. Better, actually been noticing something for months but not said anything pops and sucks gum, out! Pulling it in and out of her high position out to the gum chewer about her habit pushing years... The noise-cancelling ones wonder if it ’ s possible for the person to use earplugs to block noises! Chewing Drive you Crazy, 2016, and made a huge effort to stop composed of the enemy open. To the 26 respondents who are me and would just escalate it. that folks., mouth sounds are common triggers distracts from those they also do n't the. The open office Floor Plan Industrial Complex actually hear it and realize the terrible sound they making... When you feel the urge the kind of thing that other folks have on.

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